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Gondolinian comments on Where is the line between being a good child and taking care of oneself? - Less Wrong Discussion
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That's pretty much what I wanted to say, so I'll just upvote.
I would however add a link to the blog Captain Awkward. It's got a lot of resources for people who want to set boundaries with their parents. You might even consider writing a letter once they're open again.
Good luck and best wishes.