This is hardly unique to situations involving gender.

For instance, sometimes this sort of thing happens —

• Person A makes a decision or takes an action that hurts Person B — perhaps accidentally; perhaps out of negligence or bias.
• Person B makes a demand — such as restitution for the harm done; or that the situation be corrected so that people like A won't hurt people any more.
• A or A's supporters ignore or deflect B's demand, saying things such as that A's decision-making role is difficult; that A's guilt over hurting B is unpleasant to A; or that continuing to discuss A's mistake (and not "moving on") is a sign of malice, unfairness, or mental imbalance on B's part.

That's derailing: Person A changing the subject from "A hurt B, and B wants it fixed" to "A's life is so hard and people are being so harsh to A" in order to avoid talking about fixing the situation for B, the injured party.