At least some of the attacks you describe are used against women as well-- in particular the "grow up" or "be tougher because our project is more important than your emotions" range. I'm not sure it's all as gendered as you think.

This being said, there are gendered insults (notably small penis,neckbeard, and sausage fest) that are common among feminists. I've seen some feminists argue against the first two, but not the third.

I'm wondering whether it makes sense to try to keep your opponents' identity small, and not modelling a large number of people as one big person with a unified agenda.