I appreciate your point.
Mostly, I'm concerned that "strictly speaking, humans don't have VNM-utility functions, so that's that, full stop" can be interpreted like a stop sign, when in fact humans do have preferences (clearly) and do tend to choose actions to try to satisfice those preferences at least part of the time. To the extent that we'd deny that, we'd deny the existence of any kind of "agent" instantiated in the physical universe. There is predictable behavior for the most part, which can be modelled. And anything that can be computationally modelled can be described by a function. It may not have some of the nice VNM properties, but we take what we can get.
If there's a more applicable term for the kind of model we need (rather than simply "utility function in a non-VNM sense"), by all means, but then again, "what's in a name" ...
Edge.org has recently been discussing "the myth of AI". Unfortunately, although Superintelligence is cited in the opening, most of the participants don't seem to have looked into Bostrom's arguments. (Luke has written a brief response to some of the misunderstandings Pinker and others exhibit.) The most interesting comment is Stuart Russell's, at the very bottom:
I'd quibble with a point or two, but this strikes me as an extraordinarily good introduction to the issue. I hope it gets reposted somewhere it can stand on its own.
Russell has previously written on this topic in Artificial Intelligence: A Modern Approach and the essays "The long-term future of AI," "Transcending complacency on superintelligent machines," and "An AI researcher enjoys watching his own execution." He's also been interviewed by GiveWell.