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ChristianKl comments on Is arguing worth it? If so, when and when not? Also, how do I become less arrogant? - Less Wrong Discussion
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If you plan on changing someone elses mind, ask a lot of questions about their position to see where they are coming from. Questions might be more important than arguments.
If you talk to someone to disagrees with you, have a genuine curiosity about their position.
Pressing someone to defend their position quite often makes them more certain of it, not less certain.