You don't encourage it, you use it. It will be there no matter what you do

It will, I'm sure, but I think the boundary between using and encouraging is a fuzzy one. (So, I guess, is the boundary between discouraging and denying. For the avoidance of doubt, I'm not saying we shouldn't pretend people don't care about relative status. Just that we shouldn't prompt them to think in those terms.)

a calculator that instead suggests an equivalent of the money to be donated

Yes, I think that would be healthier.