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dhoe comments on Signalling with T-Shirt slogans - Less Wrong Discussion
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Drinking has surprisingly little impact on those parts of mathematics where you just mechanically apply a couple of rules, btw. Just mentioning this in case others didn't try to solve integrals as teenagers as a sort of self-check - it totally doesn't work. Your ability to walk is a better indicator of drunkenness.
On topic: don't wear these shirts if you aim at anything more than signalling affiliation with a particular tribe. It's also inefficient if you accept the existence of interesting people outside this very small tribe.
I retain my ability to walk after losing my ability to not throw up. What things you lose in what order is highly idiosyncratic.
I performed an experiment regarding this and at least for me the ability to do mathematics was the first that suffered. Long before balance or speech. This has been recorded by a non-drunk non-biased outside observer. It may be that this is due to the way math was checked, namely by relatively simple calculation on-the-fly. I started to make small slips or oversights. And I didn't do routine calculations. I don't do boring calculations by rote but by doing more or less clever short-cuts and these failed.