Not strongly incompatible value systems.
I did not attempt to compare mono and poly. I intended to mean in in inter-relationship. Also, this is just a preference and as I said, no reason to dwell on it too much. Works for me, end of the story.
I think poly is defined as multiple relationships, not just many fuckbuddies.
I thought that they also have sex with other partners. But this kind of stretches the definition of a relationship. It means a higher level of connection with another person. I am not such an emotional person so I think I might suffer from overclarity. I connect to people on an intellectual level. If I have a girlfriend but I also enjoy the company of a few different women does that mean I'm a poly-mono hybrid? It does not feel anything like a relationship to me but rather a solid friendship, and I think this is what poly folks feel too, but they go for it with more intensity than I'd do.
But before I fall into a bottomless pit, I think we have different definitions of the word "relationship" so the best we can do is state what are thoughts are in order to reach some agreement but I honestly feel we're talking about different things when we say relationship.
By "relationship" here I mean both a sexual relationship and an emotional relationship. Just sex makes one a fuckbuddy, just emotion makes one a friend (or maybe a tragic unrequited love interest :-/). In the poly context I use "relationship" to mean that people are both sleeping with each other AND are emotionally involved.
Related article: Polyhacking
Note: This article was posted earlier for less than a day but accidentally deleted.
Although polyamory isn't one of the "official" topics of LW interest (human cognition, AI, probability, etc...), this is the only community I'm part of where I expect a sufficiently high number of members to have experience with it to give useful feedback.
If you go looking for advice or articles about polyamory on the internet, you mostly get stuff written by polyamorists that are happy with their decisions. Is this selection bias? Where are the people whose relationships (or social lives, out anything) got damaged or ruined by experimenting with Consensual Non-Monogamy?
I'm posting this hoping for feedback, negative AND positive, on experiences with polyamory. I considered putting this in an Open Thread, but it occurred to me that many other LW readers might be interested in whether polyamory has drawbacks they need to be aware of. If you have experience with CNM (including first-hand witnessing, which has the added bonus of not requiring you to out yourself while still participating in the dialogue), please comment with your overall impression and as much detail as you would like to include (I am also putting my experiences there rather than in this post). If you've seen multiple poly relationships, multiple comments would make tallying slightly easier. I will try to upvote people who feed me data, a la LW surveys. If there are sufficient comments, I will periodically go through them and post a rough ratio of good to bad experiences at the bottom of this article.
PSA: The Username account is available for use by any who wish to remain anonymous. The password is left as an exercise for the reader. Hat tip... Username.