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UnrequitedHope comments on Negative polyamory outcomes? - Less Wrong Discussion
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Comments (103)
I did not attempt to compare mono and poly. I intended to mean in in inter-relationship. Also, this is just a preference and as I said, no reason to dwell on it too much. Works for me, end of the story.
I thought that they also have sex with other partners. But this kind of stretches the definition of a relationship. It means a higher level of connection with another person. I am not such an emotional person so I think I might suffer from overclarity. I connect to people on an intellectual level. If I have a girlfriend but I also enjoy the company of a few different women does that mean I'm a poly-mono hybrid? It does not feel anything like a relationship to me but rather a solid friendship, and I think this is what poly folks feel too, but they go for it with more intensity than I'd do.
But before I fall into a bottomless pit, I think we have different definitions of the word "relationship" so the best we can do is state what are thoughts are in order to reach some agreement but I honestly feel we're talking about different things when we say relationship.
By "relationship" here I mean both a sexual relationship and an emotional relationship. Just sex makes one a fuckbuddy, just emotion makes one a friend (or maybe a tragic unrequited love interest :-/). In the poly context I use "relationship" to mean that people are both sleeping with each other AND are emotionally involved.
I thought the point of polygamy is to be able to have sex with multiple partners. This makes me feel a bit weird because I can have a relationship with a female friend and not kiss her or hug her too much or whatever. More like a friendship but you get the point.
Still though, I don't see how it refutes my point of them just wanting to have sex with more than one person. I suspect this might be because I place more weight on the sex rather than the relationship.
Nope, that's just sleeping around and does not necessarily involve polygamy.
Because your point involves the word "just". If you just want to have sex with many people, no need to do the whole polygamy thing -- just sleep with whoever you want and can get.
"Polygamy" involves marriage.
Not in the typical LW usage of the word.
I think that's why people use "polyamory" to distinguish the two.
Fair point.