Here's my rough model of your situation (which may be totally wrong): you value deep learning, and feel that the sacrifices you've made socially for it should be reflected in some sort of payoff. Basically, you want a better grade, and feel indignant because that others studying to the test is a shortcut that cheapens the effort you put in.

I think you'll be a lot happier if you decouple your learning from the grades you receive. Grades are grades, and as far as they are used to land you a better job or graduate level position, they follow their own system. If you're not gaming that system like everyone else, you're not playing well. Your learning can be something else entirely, and insofar as you think deep learning is innately valuable or will give you a competitive advantage, it has its own merits. But don't conflate the two - you seem to be projecting a lot of your frustration at having two competing goals (learning and a social life that both eat up time) onto people who have a different set of priorities.

I don't mean to sound harsh here. But your days will only ever have 24 hours, and if you can dig down through the things you want to figure out some core values, you might be able to build better tradeoffs and balance your life.