torekp comments on Selfish preferences and self-modification - Less Wrong Discussion
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Presumably this is like trying to solve the Sorites paradox. The best you can do is to find a mutually acceptable Schelling point, e.g. 100 grains of sand make a heap, or disagreeing on 10% or more of all decisions means you are different enough.
A gradual falling-off of concern with distance seems more graceful than suddenly going from all to nothing. It's not like the legal driving age, where there's strong practical reason for a small number of sharp cut-offs.