The whole set of problems is not studied yet at all, so I am just doing the scope-work basiclly i.e. what may play a role.

I don't believe that's the case. I don't think that self-hating isn't studied at all.

It is a definition issue. I don't mean STEM-geeks, I mean people who use escapist-heroic fantasy. That is a clear sign. People who hate themselves usually find a way to fantasize about being a hero.

There are many ways to escape reality besides fantasizing being a hero.

Having a hero that serve as a role model can also be valuable.

There is the table topics and the fact that in the breaks people 1) try harder than usual to socialize, even when they normally the type who does not do this, but they understand that these evenings are dedicated to communication 2) they are super nice at it, non-judgemental, non-competitive, it is not like going to a party where everybody is basically bragging and trying to undermine your status to raise theirs.

How much time have you spent at toastmasters? I have spent 4 1/2 years. I know how it works. Empirically in the years I spent at toastmasters my 1:1 interaction skills didn't improve as much as they did in the last years.