NancyLebovitz comments on Stupid Questions March 2015 - Less Wrong Discussion
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Here's my speculation: By getting really angry about it, you're acting in a way that would make the desirable belief (don't misgender trans people, for example) common sense. Most people would get angry if you openly state stuff like "Women shouldn't be allowed to drive cars because they're stupid." By getting angry about less accepted stuff, you (try to?) give your belief a more mainstream status.
The complication is that you can succeed at getting specific behaviors by showing anger.
Compassion and/or full inclusion in one's group is reflected by a much more complex and flexible set of behaviors, and I'm not sure anger is a useful tool for getting that.