we should care about the well-being of all humans equally - but that doesn't necessarily mean making the same amount of effort to help one kid in Africa and your brother.

We have the moral imperative to have the same care for them, but not act in accordance with equal care? This is a common meme, if rarely spelled out so clearly. A "morality" that consists of moral imperatives to have the "proper feelings" instead of the "proper doings" isn't much of a morality.