I don't care for "hyperbolic discounting" (I have no idea what it means and neither do I care)

Well if you don't know what it is then how do you know ... Anyway if you don't care about any of this then why are you even participating? The internet is a big place man with plenty of other fora...

(I do not claim to speak for the_jaded_one, but this needs to be said.)

So, you can't - for whatever reason - make yourself an alarm, a checklist, or basically anything that's a sign that says "negative ROI - stop immedietly"?

No. On the occasion that this is an option, it is fairly useless.

akrasia as far as I can tell is usually codeword for "I'm a lazy fuck".

Akrasia is shorthand for "I have spent the past nine years desperately trying to get the action part of my brain and the conscious desire part of my brain to agree, and I have failed so hard for nearly a decade that I've anthropomorphized the condition so I can disguise the resulting suicidality as threatening a supernatural being to a fight to the death".

If you'd rather, Akrasia is code for "I am a lazy fuck, but not by choice".

You might have some psychological problem.

It was obvious to me that this was a psychological problem seven years ago. Professionals have been so fucking useless I don't even.

The only thing that's ever helped* me reliably in the past is restrictions I can't easily work around. If the_jaded_one is healthier enough that an easily-deleted smartphone-disabling app would help, then I find this post not absurd, but enviable.

* help is not a solution, but we're talking the difference between suicidally depressed and "What the fuck do I say about Cahier d'un retour au pays natal?".