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Lee_Smith comments on What level of compassion do you consider normal, expected, mandatory etc. ? - Less Wrong Discussion
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" the goal would be to find a way to make more people derive genuine enjoyment from helping people." I can agree with this.
An interesting thing that I've noticed is when people take the concept of helping others into their identity it can result in them helping others to the point of being detrimental to themselves. They get hooked on both the pleasure of helping as well as the pleasure of fulfilling their identity as a helper.
I prefer what was said concerning Voldemort in HPMoR. (i'm paraphrasing) He could be nice because he had no moral obligation to be nice. He had no Ideal to live up to therefore he could be as nice or mean as he wanted to be. I have taken that approach for a few years and it works well for me. I find that I'm much happier with the giving I do.