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Clarity comments on Open Thread, Jun. 8 - Jun. 14, 2015 - Less Wrong Discussion
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If I understand you correctly, you have some kind of hyperactive "abandonment detector" system which, if triggered, throws you into an escalating loop of alarm signals. Does that sound about right?
A therapist should have a long look at this to make sure you're not overlooking something. For actually changing that, you might have to be in a stable relationship that lets your System 1 learn an alternate response pattern, which can supplant the other although the one you have might need years to atrophy.
Lots of people with worse issues than yours are in working relationships. It's just a matter of being with someone who can handle you when it's bad and is willing to discuss the matter as much as you need. Someone who can get way closer to you than we can.
Sorry, this was an useless post so now it's gone
Correct. My impression is that this might be an area where psychodynamic therapy might actually be better than CBT, but I don't have research to back that up.