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ChristianKl comments on When does heritable low fitness need to be explained? - Less Wrong Discussion
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It's not clear that making none of the two men a father is better (i.e. more desirable to them) than making just one a father. They could each father one of two children, for instance.
If one is a father there are concerns about that person having more rights about determining the fate of the child then the other partner.
If they are married, such concerns would only come up in a divorce. Child custody battles are weird and ugly enough in heterosexual marriages; I don't know what they would look like in homosexual ones.
Also, even the man who is not a father may still consider it a better choice. Just as some heterosexual couples one of whom is infertile may prefer a surrogate mother or the sperm bank to adoption.
Legal rights aren't the only that matter. Raising children means that you have to make a lot of parenting decisions. If one partner feels that he has more right to influence those decisions that's an issue.
I'll take your word for it. I've never been in that situation and don't have any instincts for how it might feel. It might also be relevant that the other partner might want to invest fewer resources in the child because it's not biologically theirs.