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Elo comments on Open Thread, Jul. 27 - Aug 02, 2015 - Less Wrong Discussion

5 Post author: MrMind 27 July 2015 07:16AM

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Comment author: Artaxerxes 28 July 2015 12:16:37AM *  3 points [-]

Yeah, this happens.

I just want to yell at people; "answer the question I asked! not the one you felt like answering that was similar to the one I asked because you thought that was what I wanted to hear about or ask about!".

Try this, except instead of yelling, say it nicely.

One thing you could do as an example is some variation of "oh sorry, I must have phrased the question poorly, I meant (the question again, perhaps phrased differently or with more detail or with example answers or whatever)".

Comment author: Elo 28 July 2015 12:45:32AM *  0 points [-]

I probably wasn't clear about that - I never actually yell at anyone but it evokes the emotion of wanting to do so. And I notice the same pattern so often these days. Questions not getting the answer they ask.

Edit: also the yelling-idea-thing happens as a response to the different-question being answered, not something people could predict and purposely cause me to do, so should be unrelated.

Case in point - you are an example of not answering the question I asked.

Comment author: Artaxerxes 28 July 2015 07:29:47PM 8 points [-]

You said

Do you have suggestions for either: a. dealing with it b. getting people to answer the right question

I said

I just want to yell at people; "answer the question I asked! not the one you felt like answering that was similar to the one I asked because you thought that was what I wanted to hear about or ask about!".

Try this, except instead of yelling, say it nicely.

and I also said

One thing you could do as an example is some variation of "oh sorry, I must have phrased the question poorly, I meant (the question again, perhaps phrased differently or with more detail or with example answers or whatever)".

So I answered the question in detail.

Perhaps you aren't very good at recognizing when someone has answered your question? Obviously this is only one data point so we can't look into it too heavily, but we have at least established that this is something you are capable of doing.

Comment author: bbleeker 28 July 2015 03:16:22PM 3 points [-]

But he did answer your question. You wrote:

Do you have suggestions for either: a. dealing with it b. getting people to answer the right question

And Artaxerxes wrote:

One thing you could do as an example is some variation of "oh sorry, I must have phrased the question poorly, I meant (the question again, perhaps phrased differently or with more detail or with example answers or whatever)".

Isn't that an answer to your point b?

Comment author: Romashka 28 July 2015 07:59:27AM 0 points [-]

But if people don't answer the right question, despite your formulating it as plainly and civilly as possible, it means they are either motivated to miss your meaning or you are not being specific enough.

Perhaps you could ask them a question which logically follows from the expected answer to your actual question, and when they call you out on it, explain why you think this version plausible; they might object, but they at least should be constrained by your expectations. Do you think this would work?

Comment author: Elo 28 July 2015 04:10:23PM 0 points [-]

I am confused by this:

Perhaps you could ask them a question which logically follows from the expected answer to your actual question

Can you provide a worked example? Or explain it again? Or both?

Comment author: Romashka 28 July 2015 04:38:05PM 1 point [-]

Perhaps the most famous worked example is Have you stopped beating your wife?, an instance of a rhetorical device called begging the question; strictly speaking, this is Dark Arts, but since you are assumedly willing to immediately take a step back and change your mind about the assumption (as in, 'Oh, you're single' or 'Oh, you've never beaten her' or 'Oh, you only beat other people's wives') it should not be that bad.

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