OrphanWilde comments on Rational approach to finding life partners - Less Wrong Discussion
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It's straightforward to make a list of how to be poor and then by not doing those things to possibly not be poor. But it's hard to make a list of how to be rich and do those things and be rich. Similarly, it's easy to make a list of how to be alone and then by not doing those things possibly not be alone. But it's hard to make a list of how to be with someone and then do those things and be with someone. So - eliminate all the negatives first. If wearing clothes that don't fit, ignoring cleanliness and avoiding people makes for being alone, don't do those things. Don't do those negative things first and always, then keep an eye open for chances for the positive things. The negative things ruin the positive things you have going on. Eliminate the negatives first.
Negative things are (mostly) universal, positive things are (mostly) extremely specific to the individual.