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VoiceOfRa comments on Rational approach to finding life partners - Less Wrong Discussion
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No woman owes sex to no man. If you think that women have any kind of duty to sexually satisfy men, you are deluded and have very unhealthy and dangerous attitudes.
After reading your other comments it becomes clear, that your belief that women as a group should be encouraged to have sex with men against their will stems from your own insecurities. I know how it feels from the inside. It feels like “wrong” men unfairly get more sex than me, like I'm broken or worthless because women specifically choose other men or celibacy, like there is some worldwide women conspiracy to make my life miserable.
The problem is, I felt this way when I was, like, 16, and I don't feel that way anymore. It frightens me that there are men, who are no longer teenagers, who still live in a constant state of anxiety, that women are there to “get you” by refusing to have sex with you.
But you can be happy without sex, and sex is not a need. Of course sex is a good thing, and it's great, when there's more of it (consensual, obviously). But so can be said of video games, or action films, or hiking, or chess playing. People can be happy without them, and these are not needs, and so is true of sex.
The only problem I see with young male virgins in today's world is not lack of sex, but terrible self-esteem, depression and anxiety around the belief that they ought to have sex, but because there's something wrong either with them, or the world, they don't have it. Get rid of that crap from their minds, and you'll make young men happy, confident, self-respecting, motivated and self-reliant. And maybe, just maybe, this might even make them more attractive in eyes of women.
Replace "sex" with "not dying" and you have the standard deathist position.
Just replacing words and saying “see what this reminds you now of!” doesn't work, because the words might not type-match. Otherwise you could replace some words in any atheist speech and say “now that looks like a religion!”
Moreover, you miss the point. It's not that sex is bad or non-important or should be discouraged or whatever.
Except that feeling unhappy about it makes one more likely to fix the situation. Seriously, this is the exact same argument made by deathists, and generally a universal argument against caring about anything.
Except that in most men it doesn't, it just makes them more depressed, more self-hating, more bitter, more hateful towards women, more insecure. What a typical young man with no popularity among women believes is not “sex is good, therefore I should try to have more sex”. Instead, what goes through their mind is thoughts like:
...and all kinds of stressful, self-beating, epistemologically meaningless crap. Young men routinely create arbitrarily difficult challenges and end up in terrible emotional state and empathy-less relationships. Examples are having first sex at a certain age, or seducing that particular woman, or persuading a woman into a certain sex act, or having sex with certain amount of women, and so on.
You know how I know this? Go to 4chan, or any subreddit that has an angsty young male lamenting virginity. It has nothing to do with utility maximization, but all kinds of arbitrary internal demands or social pressure. The machismo culture doesn't make it better. The social expectations about how and when and whom with and how much sex should a young man have are constantly reinforced. I mean, seriously, the only argument you came up with in the other thread was about me not having sex. Suppose that I don't have sex. And that makes me wrong... how exactly?
Of course sex is good, and pleasurable, and helps bonding, and desirable. And of course, consequently, the more people have sex, the better. If you decide that sex is good and therefore you should strive to have more sex, then go for it. But the way most angsty young virgins strive for sex, the incentives they have, the beliefs they hold about themselves and other people, are dangerous for them and sometimes other people.
I've read parts of what is commonly called the "manosphere" and I can safely say, you have no idea what the f* you're talking about.
Maybe, maybe not. Can you give an example, a summary of what manosphere is all about, anything? So far you were unable to contribute to the discussion at all.