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btrettel comments on Instrumental Rationality Questions Thread - Less Wrong Discussion
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One strategy I've seen recommended is to ramble a bit, including potential conversation starters on topics which are more interesting to you as part of the ramble.
For example, let's say you're talking with someone you just met in the laundry room of your apartment building. You're talking about the weather, or something similar. You want to see if this person is interested in cooking, so as you load some clothes you casually mention how you made a mess of your shirt last time you cooked to see if they bite.
I have not tried this myself, but it seems very general and subtle enough that it's not out of the ordinary.
In my experience, most socially inclined people do something like this, possibly unintentionally. So also listen to see if the other person is doing this, and if they are, be ready to pick up on anything interesting they say. Don't assume that if they mention something in passing that they are only slightly interested.