Maybe you're right about the vast majority of cases. In the specific anecdote I mentioned, the victim told me that it was a misunderstanding - they were friends, she thought she was going home with him to sleep, he thought they were going to have sex, they were both very, very, drunk and he didn't understand that she wasn't consenting. She has forgiven it and they are still friends, although perhaps less close.

I'm not endorsing anyone's actions here. Perhaps this guy is a threat, and she should not have forgiven him. But I think my original point stands, which is that it is safer for people to get to know each other over drinks in public and only go home if they both sure whether or not they want sex.