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ChristianKl comments on Subjective vs. normative offensiveness - Less Wrong Discussion

2 Post author: casebash 25 September 2015 04:10AM

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Comment author: VoiceOfRa 28 September 2015 02:14:16AM 1 point [-]

No, it's not. If you get repeatibly the result that you creep out woman then you are by definition bad at reading the signals that lead up to doing something that creeps out the woman.

So your actual rule is, "people who are bad at reading subtle signals should never ask women out"?

You calibrate your results based on empiric reality and not on what you read online about what certain signals mean.

If there existed signals that were reliable indicators, you'd expect numerous people to have posted them online. The fact that you have to explicitly disclaim them is evidence that such signals don't really exist, or are unreliable. Here's another theory, a woman freaking out has more to do with how you ask and who's doing the asking, specifically whether you are perceived as a high status "alpha", a low status "gamma", or somewhere in between. In particular "If you frequently freak out woman with asking them out then you reduce the intensity of what you ask women" is horrible advise since it will make you be perceived as lower status.

Comment author: ChristianKl 30 September 2015 10:51:29AM 1 point [-]

So your actual rule is, "people who are bad at reading subtle signals should never ask women out"?

The question is not "what should people do" but "what is being creepy about". Being creepy is quite often about not being good at understanding other people and acting badly as a result.

If you are bad at reading subtle sign the straightforward way is to learn to get better at it. For that it's helpful to do bodywork and train to perceive was your own body is doing. It's also helpful to go to workshops with people who give you honest and direct feedback.

Even textbook PUA has it's compliance tests to get information about whether a woman is likely to say 'yes'.