ChristianKl comments on Subjective vs. normative offensiveness - Less Wrong Discussion
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Comments (86)
So your actual rule is, "people who are bad at reading subtle signals should never ask women out"?
If there existed signals that were reliable indicators, you'd expect numerous people to have posted them online. The fact that you have to explicitly disclaim them is evidence that such signals don't really exist, or are unreliable. Here's another theory, a woman freaking out has more to do with how you ask and who's doing the asking, specifically whether you are perceived as a high status "alpha", a low status "gamma", or somewhere in between. In particular "If you frequently freak out woman with asking them out then you reduce the intensity of what you ask women" is horrible advise since it will make you be perceived as lower status.
Only if the signals could be written down in a straightforward way. Any article would give you system II knowledge while the important skill is a system I skill.
And yet, you're sure that the signals exist and they're reliable indicators.
Quite a lot of signal reading I do on a daily basis are system one skills.
It's quite hard to give someone a step by step process to feel his own heartbeat. At the same time it's an ability that you can reliably develop if you spend enough time meditating.