Viliam comments on Instrumental Rationality Questions Thread - Less Wrong Discussion
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For long-term happiness and shared growth that would be Athol Kay. Read his older stuff or buy his book; since the book was out he writes less interesting stuff just to keep the traffic.
Why do you recommend him?
Because he optimizes for marriage (as opposed to hundreds of one-night stands), and he seems to have a happy marriage, and his wife also contributes to his blog. This should remove most of the objections people have.
I don't see how that's an indication that the advice he gives is good.