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entirelyuseless comments on Stupid Questions November 2015 - Less Wrong Discussion
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The thing is that even when a disagreement seems to be about words, this very often also means that there are disagreeing motives; one persons either wants to accomplish something or to reach a certain conclusion, and thinks that such and such a definition will lend itself more easily to these goals. Meanwhile, the other person does not have these goals. The consequence is that at least one person may resist the clarification of meaning, because such a clarification will tend to impede his ends.
This is a very good observation. I think certainly the most useful application of the "map and territory" metaphor in my everyday life is that I am now able to make someone's implicit motivations (disguised in semantic disagreements) explicit and obvious to everyone involved.
If your discussion partner is actively impeding clarification because that furthers his goals, then your problem isn't his lack of familiarity with the metaphor of map and territory, and your real problem isn't clarification but helping get past his unhelpful motivations.