Anders_H comments on Open thread, Dec. 21 - Dec. 27, 2015 - Less Wrong Discussion
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I don't understand what you mean by "real relationship". I suggest tabooing the terms "real relationship" and "no relationship".
I am using the word "correlation" to discuss whether the observed variable X predicts the observed variable Y in the (hypothetical?) superpopulation from which the sample was drawn. Such a correlation can exist even if neither variable causes the other.
If X predicts Y in the superpopulation (regardless of causality), the correlation will indeed be real. The only possible definition I can think of for a "false" correlation is one that does not exist in the superpopulation, but which appears in your sample due to sampling variability. Statistical methodology is in general more than adequate to discuss whether the appearance of correlation in your sample is due to real correlation in the superpopulation. You do not need causal inference to reason about this question. Moreover, confounding is not relevant.
Confounding and causal inference are only relevant if you want to know whether the correlation in the superpopulation is due to the causal effect of X on Y. You can certainly define the causal effect as the "actual real relationship", but then I don't understand how it is distinct from causation.