It's empowering when blokes seize my arse

The awkward language (here and also in the text itself) is a giveaway: this is a web-scraping site that finds other people's content, replaces some of the words with approximate synonyms (automatically) to make it harder for their plagiarism to be spotted automatically, and reposts it. (Presumably with crappy ads or malware or something, which will be how they make their money.)

I think this is probably the original, and since it doesn't have "pick up" (as in "acquire as a sexual or romantic partner") replaced with "select up", or "Kool-Aid" replaced with "Kool-Assist" or "today's society" replaced with "immediately's society" you may find it less confusing.