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Brillyant comments on The Valentine’s Day Gift That Saves Lives - Less Wrong Discussion

-6 Post author: Gleb_Tsipursky 01 February 2016 05:00PM

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Comment author: Brillyant 01 February 2016 10:03:25PM 4 points [-]

Maybe my preferences have been programmed to be hopelessly irrational by decades of conditioning via Hallmark and the rest of this damned capitalist society, but this strikes me as terribly unromantic.

I think two people can agree that (A) giving to charity is good, and (B) that lavish gift giving at invented holidays is excessive, but to combine the two on Valentine's Day and pretend it is romantic according to some strange definition of the word is a stretch, methinks.

How do you define "romance", by the way?

Comment author: Gleb_Tsipursky 02 February 2016 03:37:09AM *  -1 points [-]

It's certainly not for everyone :-) Works for me though.

Regarding romance, I think of it as a feeling that I want to help the other person have a great life, be happy, and flourish, and a confidence that they want the same for me, with sex thrown in.

Comment author: buybuydandavis 03 February 2016 10:08:49AM *  0 points [-]

to combine the two on Valentine's Day and pretend it is romantic according to some strange definition of the word is a stretch, methinks.

Not so much of a stretch. Part of romance is often a sense of shared values and purpose. A Valentine's day where you really acted out to help each other achieve those values could end up being very bonding and very romantic.

A shared commitment to live your values, particularly in the context of Valentine's Day, also implies a shared commitment to live your values in terms of your love for one another.

In practice, it may or may not work. No doubt success would depend on a lot of things. The exchange of gift certificates is a bit too intellectually mediated for my tastes. Like giving them an orgasm pill instead of having sex - "Happy Valentine's Day!".

But I wouldn't pooh pooh it out of hand - and I'm generally a cranky old pooh pooher.

Comment author: Brillyant 03 February 2016 02:38:24PM *  3 points [-]

Part of romance is often a sense of shared values and purpose.

So is a good business partnership.

The exchange of gift certificates is a bit too intellectually mediated for my tastes.

Agreed. It is, dare I say, unromantic according to some huge chuck of the population.

Thoughtful because it required some time and consideration? Sure. Creative in a shaking up the status quo sort of way? Yep. Rational in a utilitarian sense? Yes, sir.

Romantic? Only if you want to redefine traditional/classic romance to mean something else.

You could substitute any holiday and any relationship in Gleb's article. It's not like giving to charities on behalf of another in lieu of exchanging gifts is a novel idea (my family has been doing it for years). He just wrote it and pretended it was a good display of "romance" because Valentine's Day is coming up.

But I wouldn't pooh pooh it out of hand - and I'm generally a cranky old pooh pooher.

This wasn't my intention. I actually think Gleb gets too much resistance on LW for his efforts. This just seemed off to me, and kept seeming off the more I thought about it. So I commented.

Comment author: buybuydandavis 05 February 2016 02:20:51AM *  0 points [-]

You could substitute any holiday and any relationship in Gleb's article.

I think "helping and encouraging each other to achieve their values" is especially apt for Valentine's Day, and your partner.