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gjm comments on Altruistic parenting - Less Wrong Discussion

1 Post author: Clarity 08 February 2016 11:57AM

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Comment author: kranalee 09 February 2016 10:16:27AM *  2 points [-]

"They're probably not worth having anyway"

This quote makes me feel uncomfortable. As a young adult i'm asking myself.

When someone is about to be a parent (I think this question stick more to a man than a woman, considering the empathic link that's been biologicaly created between a child and his mother) is he really asking himself: Will they worth it ?

I mean, being a parent is a serious challenge, but a the dawn of "parenthood", are we going to ask ourself if we are ready to face this challenge ? Or if the child will worth it ?

Because to my mind, there's a huge gap between them. But i wonder how i'm going to react when the time will come. That one question makes me sick, but does it belong to our nature of self centered creature to ask something so horrible? Or does it only belongs to the worse parents. I wonder.

Dear Lesswrong's parents, how did you react back then ? Would you kindly tell me ? [I'm 19 by the way]

Comment author: gjm 09 February 2016 10:50:47AM 1 point [-]

I think a prospective parent should be asking all of the following questions:

  • Am I -- are we -- ready to face the challenge?
  • Will I (we) be happier for having children?
  • Will the world be a better place for our having children?
  • If we have children, what will their lives be like?

If you only ask "will I be happier?" then yes, there's probably something wrong with you. But I don't think it's an unreasonable question to ask alongside the others.

Comment author: Lumifer 09 February 2016 04:07:30PM 1 point [-]

The answers to the last three questions, especially if asked about the first child, are "We don't know".

Comment author: Dagon 09 February 2016 05:12:25PM 0 points [-]

The answers to all of them are probability estimates. "don't know" applies to all decisions, but isn't a helpful framing.

Comment author: Lumifer 09 February 2016 05:15:11PM 0 points [-]

I would like to see a probability estimate for "Will the world be a better place for our having children?", for example, one that's based on some empirical realities and not on looking upwards and going "Hmmm...."

Comment author: Dagon 09 February 2016 10:42:52PM 0 points [-]

The outside view is certainly positive on the overall bundle: most humans choose to have children. Starting with that prior and adjustiing for heritability of IQ and social influence, it seems very likely that children of most LW readers will be net positive value.

It's not what you asked for, but it's sufficient to base decisions on.

Comment author: Lumifer 10 February 2016 01:48:20AM 0 points [-]

The outside view is certainly positive on the overall bundle: most humans choose to have children.

That's just hardwired biological instincts. They have nothing to do with the questions asked.

Comment author: gjm 09 February 2016 05:14:05PM -1 points [-]

The answers to [...] are "We don't know".

Just like the answers to all questions.