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gjm comments on Altruistic parenting - Less Wrong Discussion
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"They're probably not worth having anyway"
This quote makes me feel uncomfortable. As a young adult i'm asking myself.
When someone is about to be a parent (I think this question stick more to a man than a woman, considering the empathic link that's been biologicaly created between a child and his mother) is he really asking himself: Will they worth it ?
I mean, being a parent is a serious challenge, but a the dawn of "parenthood", are we going to ask ourself if we are ready to face this challenge ? Or if the child will worth it ?
Because to my mind, there's a huge gap between them. But i wonder how i'm going to react when the time will come. That one question makes me sick, but does it belong to our nature of self centered creature to ask something so horrible? Or does it only belongs to the worse parents. I wonder.
Dear Lesswrong's parents, how did you react back then ? Would you kindly tell me ? [I'm 19 by the way]
I think a prospective parent should be asking all of the following questions:
If you only ask "will I be happier?" then yes, there's probably something wrong with you. But I don't think it's an unreasonable question to ask alongside the others.
The answers to the last three questions, especially if asked about the first child, are "We don't know".
The answers to all of them are probability estimates. "don't know" applies to all decisions, but isn't a helpful framing.
I would like to see a probability estimate for "Will the world be a better place for our having children?", for example, one that's based on some empirical realities and not on looking upwards and going "Hmmm...."
The outside view is certainly positive on the overall bundle: most humans choose to have children. Starting with that prior and adjustiing for heritability of IQ and social influence, it seems very likely that children of most LW readers will be net positive value.
It's not what you asked for, but it's sufficient to base decisions on.
That's just hardwired biological instincts. They have nothing to do with the questions asked.
Just like the answers to all questions.