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Elo comments on Open Thread April 4 - April 10, 2016 - Less Wrong Discussion

5 Post author: Elo 04 April 2016 04:56AM

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Comment author: Arshuni 04 April 2016 07:01:16AM *  0 points [-]

In telling stories about acquaintances, should I be explicit with names? It helps follow the story, makes it more personal, and follow up stories paint a better overall picture. On introductions, 'Oh, I've heard a lot about you!' is great, too. On the other hand, sometimes you end up telling stories that may be slightly embarrassing for some concerned. In being explicit with their names, you may end up making the recipient less likely to open up to you (or I would assume so: I don't remember if I ever decided to be less open to someone merely because that, even after being surprised by hearing a story back from a third person. OTOH, I did definitely think deeply about my relationship with people who have a habit of shit-talking people behind their backs.)

Any other considerations? Which would you consider more appropriate?

Comment author: Elo 04 April 2016 08:29:28AM 0 points [-]

I have tried with or without names; for me it would depend how close I am to the person I am telling the story to.

And depend if the 3rd party is known in positive/negative light. i.e. story that involves an ex to a current partner.

I think you might be over thinking this because for the most part it doesn't matter, however if you are developing a rule of thumb; if a story gives positive credit - name the person, if not positive, skip the name.