I'm really only talking about how people make causal inferences, and how these result in different feelings like sadness, anger, and guilt.

And I'm still noting that you seem to lack cognizance of the responsibility modality. Causality is a part of responsibility, but does not determine it. Getting out of bed in the morning may causally lead to you getting hit by a bus, or someone else getting hit by a bus, but that doesn't make you morally responsible for the accident.

Again, I wonder if you don't get it at all, and simply lack a moral modality I have.

People clearly get this idea to varying degrees. People often still feel guilty when they are part of a causal chain, even when they "know" they were not responsible. Seeing how that tendency distributes across Haidt's distributions of moral foundations would be really interesting.

As for our emotions and moral intuitions, I agree that one should realize one's essential freedom in how we respond to them. They are all data. We can choose.

For the rest of your post, I'm not a utilitarian and wasn't really interested in commenting on your apparent attempt to ameliorate guilt in utilitarians.

is totally different from saying that you can do anything you want

You can do anything you can do.

and that guilt is an illusion.

As I read it, you interpreted guilt as the emotional reaction to being part of a causal chain leading to a bad outcome. That's not an illusion. It's a mistake to think I held it you were saying it was.