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Brillyant comments on Thoughts on hacking aromanticism? - Less Wrong Discussion

10 Post author: hg00 02 June 2016 11:52AM

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Comment author: Brillyant 08 June 2016 02:23:49PM *  0 points [-]

You are supposing that my conscious and unconscious mind are one and the same.

No. Only that being consciously aware of the intentions of your smiling/eye-contacting targets must limit it's value in being anything resembling authentic romantic validation. If it doesn't—if you are actually able to game this in a significant way through some combination of self delusion and pure unconscious engagement—then that strikes me as weird. Because it is such a significant departure from the reality of what is going on when you smile at people and they smile back.

I guess I would accept this as "social validation". And, you could say it's "romantic" in nature if your smiling/eye-contacting targets were attractive to you in a romantic way, I guess. But this is soooooooooo far away from anything like the sort of "romantic validation" experienced in actual romantic relationships that it still seems weird to use as a suitable alternative given the context as I understand it.

Out of curiosity, can you use this romantic validation hack on people who are paid to be nice to you? Like a store clerk?

Comment author: MrMind 09 June 2016 07:50:25AM 1 point [-]

Only that being consciously aware of the intentions of your smiling/eye-contacting targets must limit it's value in being anything resembling authentic romantic validation

Why?

But this is soooooooooo far away from anything like the sort of "romantic validation" experienced in actual romantic relationships

How do you know?

Note: it might be the case that I'm supremely weird. Who knows, it can be true. But what strikes me as odd is: as far as I can tell you have only your experience on romantic validation, how can you say that what you feel is the reality for everybody else?
As I said for the nth time, it works for me. It might work for others, it's a thing you can try and see if it works. It's a hack, after all.
What is weird for me is your sense of certainty regarding the way people should feel in such matters.

Out of curiosity, can you use this romantic validation hack on people who are paid to be nice to you? Like a store clerk?

Sure. I mistake politeness for interest every damn time :)

Comment author: Lumifer 09 June 2016 02:31:56PM 1 point [-]

But what strikes me as odd is: as far as I can tell you have only your experience on romantic validation, how can you say that what you feel is the reality for everybody else?

You aren't arguing over actual feelings, you are arguing over word labels to attach to them ("romantic validation" vs "social validation").

Comment author: Brillyant 09 June 2016 02:06:33PM 0 points [-]

How do you know?

Note: it might be the case that I'm supremely weird. Who knows, it can be true. But what strikes me as odd is: as far as I can tell you have only your experience on romantic validation, how can you say that what you feel is the reality for everybody else? As I said for the nth time, it works for me. It might work for others, it's a thing you can try and see if it works. It's a hack, after all. What is weird for me is your sense of certainty regarding the way people should feel in such matters.

I've had a romantic relationship. And I've smiled at and eye-contacted attractive people. They aren't the same.

Of course I've only experienced my experiences.

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