When we back off to something more moderate, we then get, "Changing how you act in order to better fit in is generally not worth it"

While that's a moderate reading I don't think it's what most people I know who would say "Just be yourself" mean. If someone doesn't try to be themselves telling them to be themselves is a suggestion that they change their behavior.

In general it's not about finding a moderate reading but in about engaging which what the person you are talking to actually believes.