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ChristianKl comments on Meme: Valuable Vulnerability - Less Wrong Discussion

3 Post author: scarcegreengrass 27 June 2016 11:54PM

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Comment author: ChristianKl 28 June 2016 03:04:19PM 4 points [-]

David Burns who's one of the people who popularized CBT writes in The feeling good handbook (CBT workbook):

You can never be loved for your successes-only for your vulnerabilities. People may be attracted to you and may admire you if you are a great success. They may also resent and envy you. But they can never love you for your success.

I think that he's right that emotional vulerability is the key to creating personal connections.

He writes in When Panic Attacks: The New, Drug-Free Anxiety Therapy That Can Change Your Life-Broadway:

Self-Disclosure is based on the idea that your shame, and not your shyness, is the real enemy. Without the shame, shyness can actually be an asset because it can make you seem more vulnerable and attractive. But if you’re shy, you probably won’t believe that, because the shyness and shame are so tightly intertwined in your mind.

I think Burns is a good source for understanding the concept in more depths.