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I've always liked the phrase 'The problem isn't Terminator, it is King Midas. It isn't that AI will suddenly 'decide' to kill us, it is that we will tell it to without realizing it." I forget where I saw that first, but it usually gets the conversation going in the right direction.
The same is true for the Terminator plot, where Skynet got a command to self-preserve by all means - and concluded that killing humans will prevent its turning off.