everything good in all of history is from voluntary means

I understand this assertion. I don't think I believe it.

ppl initiate force when they fail to persuade

Kinda. When using force is simpler/cheaper than persuasion. And persuading people that they need to die is kinda hard :-/

The words have meanings.

Words have a variety of meanings which also tend to heavily depend on the context. If you want to convey precise meaning, you need not only to use words precisely, but also to convey to your communication partner which particular meaning you attach to these words.

Right here is an example: I interpret you using words like "cripple" and "torture" as tools of emotional impact. In my experience this is how people use them (outside of specific technical areas). If you mean something else, you need to tell me: you need to define the words you use.

It's not a replacement for talking about issues you think are important, it's a prerequisite to meaningful communication.

So you said "I'm using strong words b/c they correspond to my intended claims" and that tells me nothing. So you basically want to say that conventional upbringing is bad? Extra bad? Super duper extra bad? Are there any nuances, any particular kind of bad?

You are failing to communicate.