• Eliezer Yudkowsky was once attacked by a Moebius strip. He beat it to death with the other side, non-violently.
• Inside Eliezer Yudkowsky's pineal gland is not an immortal soul, but another brain.
• Eliezer Yudkowsky's favorite food is printouts of Rice's theorem.
• Eliezer Yudkowsky's favorite fighting technique is a roundhouse dustspeck to the face.
• Eliezer Yudkowsky once brought peace to the Middle East from inside a freight container, through a straw.
• Eliezer Yudkowsky once held up a sheet of paper and said, "A blank map does not correspond to a blank territory". It was thus that the universe was created.
• If you dial Chaitin's Omega, you get Eliezer Yudkowsky on the phone.
• Unless otherwise specified, Eliezer Yudkowsky knows everything that he isn't telling you.
• Somewhere deep in the microtubules inside an out-of-the-way neuron somewhere in the basal ganglia of Eliezer Yudkowsky's brain, there is a little XML tag that says awesome.
• Eliezer Yudkowsky is the Muhammad Ali of one-boxing.
• Eliezer Yudkowsky is a 1400 year old avatar of the Aztec god Aixitl.
• The game of "Go" was abbreviated from "Go Home, For You Cannot Defeat Eliezer Yudkowsky".
• When Eliezer Yudkowsky gets bored, he pinches his mouth shut at the 1/3 and 2/3 points and pretends to be a General Systems Vehicle holding a conversation among itselves. On several occasions he has managed to fool bystanders.
• Eliezer Yudkowsky has a swiss army knife that has folded into it a corkscrew, a pair of scissors, an instance of AIXI which Eliezer once beat at tic tac toe, an identical swiss army knife, and Douglas Hofstadter.
• If I am ignorant about a phenomenon, that is not a fact about the phenomenon; it just means I am not Eliezer Yudkowsky.
• Eliezer Yudkowsky has no need for induction or deduction. He has perfected the undiluted master art of duction.
• There was no ice age. Eliezer Yudkowsky just persuaded the planet to sign up for cryonics.
• There is no spacetime symmetry. Eliezer Yudkowsky just sometimes holds the territory upside down, and he doesn't care.
• Eliezer Yudkowsky has no need for doctors. He has implemented a Universal Curing Machine in a system made out of five marbles, three pieces of plastic, and some of MacGyver's fingernail clippings.
• Before Bruce Schneier goes to sleep, he scans his computer for uploaded copies of Eliezer Yudkowsky.

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