Three books on common, inhumanly stringent standards.

Compassion and Self-Hate by Theodore Rubin. (Self-hatred as a semi-autonomous mental habit, with compassion as the only way out)

I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't) by Brene Brown. (Women and shame, with a claim that women are haunted by incompatible standards, while men are haunted by a single unachievable standard-- I'm not sure this is true, but I'm keeping an eye out for evidence one way or the other. )

Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters: The Frightening New Normalcy of Hating Your Body by Courntey Martin (Eating disorders among high-achieving young women.)