Erg. That sounds really insane. Which is bizarre, because although it sounds insane when I actually say it, my brain normally handles it without too much self awareness, and could go back to doing so if I wasn't specifically trying to analyze it in the context of this discussion.

FWIW, that sense of "this sounds insane when I say it explicitly but feels natural if I don't think about it" is an experience I often have when I am becoming aware of my real motives and they turn out to conflict with preconceived ideas I have about myself or the world. Usually, either the awareness or the preconceived ideas tend to fade away pretty quickly. (I endorse the latter far more than the former.)