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DanielLC comments on According to Dale Carnegie, You Can't Win an Argument—and He Has a Point - LessWrong
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I think you need a longer time span to see this is quite often false. What has happened many times is I argue with my friend or my parent and "win" while they're defending their position to the teeth. Months later, they present my argument to me as their own as if the previous discussion never happened. Some people's forgetfulness amazes me, but I suspect I've changed my mind this way without noticing too.
Admitting you're wrong is quite different from changing your mind. Even so, I hopefully don't argue to win these days anymore.
I don't think it's just forgetfulness. I've had my mind changed by an argument. What has never happened is for my mind to be changed during an argument (barring cases where I can just look it up). Changing your mind takes some serious time and thought, as it should. It's not that I don't want to lose face admitting I'm wrong. It's that I don't feel like bringing it up again.
I agree it's not just forgetfulness and what you're saying probably happens more often. The situations I had in mind though cannot be explained your way.
I agree, but I think often most of that transformation happens subconsciously.
I think we should rather focus on changing people's minds than getting them to admit they're wrong.