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Brillyant comments on Handshakes, Hi, and What's New: What's Going On With Small Talk? - LessWrong
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When I was a kid, my Mom taught me something like the following: When asked a question (presumably in a conversation you would like to continue), respond with more than just the minimum requirement for data, and then finish your reply with a question for them.
Example we still joke about:
A: Do you play any sports? B: Yeah, I play baseball. I play second base. How about you? Do you play any sports?
I'm not sure of the exact logic behind this. It seems to me that (1) Ending with a question is the clearest indicator you want to keep talking to this person, and (2) giving a little additional information, even when not asked for it, can provide some potential for making a further connection instead of just a quick, content-free exchange. In other words, it gives you more to talk about.
Giving a little additional information yourself that was not asked for has another effect that you don't mention, or maybe it's what you mean by (1): It tells the other person that they are expected to answer your question with at least the same level of detail, i.e. it signals to them that they will not be impolite in doing so.
Datapoint: I follow this policy for IM conversations.
[Edit: At least for people I'm not that close to yet. If it's someone I know well, I usually skip the negotiation protocol.]
Something I have noticed myself getting into:
Whenever I or someone else ends an statement with a question, often someone (probably me) asks a question about the original statement as well as answering the question, essentially resulting in two simultaneous conversations.
Example:
A: Do you play any sports? B: I play baseball. I play second base. And you? A: I play volley ball. Which one is second base? B: The one opposite home. What position in volleyball?
These simultaneous conversations proliferate online much easier, but they often happen in real life too. (for me)
It seems like that might sometimes lead to an awkward exchange. I suppose there is an art to remembering, and knowing when to use, the information you are asking for in a way that is logical and comfortable in conversation. Though anything tends to be better than...
A. Do you play sports? B. Yes. A. Which? B. Baseball.
Conversation failure mode. Of course, some blame fall to the questioner for asking closed questions, but good conversationalists can turn weak questions into strong conversations with good technique.
Closed questions bias the conversation in addition to making it clumsy.
Doctors try to maximize the information they get from a patient by using open questions. Only after it's clear what the complaint is, they make precision strikes with closed questions. It's very easy to bias the patient and get a wrong diagnosis if you're not careful.
I suppose in a casual setting the bias will be even greater because the other person is deliberately gauging what kinds of things you would be pleased to hear based on your questions.