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peter_hurford comments on Understanding Who You Really Are - LessWrong
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The question "what part of your identity is of value to you?" sounds like it can rescue the original philosophical meaning of the question, I think.
That definitely is a better question.
No, that assumes there is such a thing as "your identity" beyond what yourself and others ascribe to you. There's really only just your causal history.
Besides, psychological experiments show that when talking about others rather than themselves, people tend to identify "personal identity" and "moral character or alignment". So that answers that.
Reduce further -- "what part of the character traits that you and others see yourself as possessing do you value?"
I think 'who are you, really' is basically this plus 'what do you want/what are your goals?'