If this argument is a re-tread of something already existing in the philosophical literature, please let me know.

I don't like Searle's Chinese Room Argument. Not really because it's wrong. But mainly because it takes an interesting and valid philosophical insight/intuition and then twists it in the wrong direction.

The valid insight I see is:

One cannot get a semantic process (ie one with meaning and understanding) purely from a syntactic process (one involving purely syntactic/algorithmic processes).

I'll illustrate both the insight and the problem with Searle's formulation via an example. And then look at what this means for hedonium and mind crimes.

Napoleonic exemplar

Consider the following four processes:

1. Napoleon, at Waterloo, thinking and directing his troops.
2. A robot, having taken the place of Napoleon at Waterloo, thinking in the same way and directing his troops in the same way.
3. A virtual Napoleon in a simulation of Waterloo, similarly thinking and directing his virtual troops.
4. A random Boltzmann brain springing into existence from the thermal radiation of a black hole. This Boltzmann brain is long-lasting (24 hours), and, by sheer coincidence, happens to mimic exactly the thought processes of Napoleon at Waterloo.