I’d like to tell you all a story.

Once upon a time I was working for a charity – a major charity – going door-to-door to raise money while pretending it wasn’t sales.

This story happened on my last day working there.  I didn’t know that at the time; I wouldn’t find out until the following morning when my boss called me up to fire me, but I knew it was coming.  For weeks I’d been fed up with the job, milking it for the last few dollars I could pull out, hating every minute of it but needing the money.  The Sudden Career Readjustment would come as a relief.

So on that day, my last day, I was moving slowly.  I knocked on one particular door and there was no response.  I had little desire to walk to the next one, however, and there was an interesting spider who’d built its web below the doorbell.  I tapped its belly with the tip of my pen, and it reacted with aggression – trying to envenom and ensnare the tip of my ballpoint.  I must have been playing with it for a good minute or so when the door suddenly opened.

A distraught woman stood before me.  After a brief period of Relating I launched into my pitch.