I believe you may be mis-parsing the statement. Apologising when you've done nothing wrong is a signal that you consider yourself inferior. This attitude makes ones' life worse, in general, by reinforcing bullying behaviour. Even people who won't bully will be less likely to want to hang out with you, because being around someone who does not feel comfortable is unlikely to be fun, and speaking personally, feeling the (metaphorical) urge to kick the puppy makes my skin crawl.

Step-forward impulses are an awesome thing to have, something we "should" all cultivate. Don't apologize for them. As far as your being bad at this, I am skeptical and suspect you are backing down too quickly. At worst this is an opportunity for people who are opposed to your approach to explain (and perhaps figure out more clearly for themselves) why it is a bad idea.

Of course the norm would be "don't reply to words with violence",

Note that arguments are different to words.

With respect to the more general norm of responding to words we already inherit that norm via the laws of most countries where we reside. In those countries where such a norm is not enforced following the norm is quite possibly a bad idea. There are (and even more so have been) places where violence is an acceptable and even necessary response to certain types of words. This perhaps even applies in certain subcultures within the more developed countries. I don't have a problem with that - it is their culture, not mine.

Because we don't have the ability to punch each other in the face over the internet and only meet in person in the location where we physically exist it is the norms of that location that are relevant. Such a norm does not belong here.

How much of what you don't like about LDS is entangled with the organizational structure?

I don't have a strong answer, just some concerns.

It may be that a lot of what's wrong there is having a hard boundary between members and non-members. If so, rationalists may be able to beat that one by wanting people to be more rational, though there do seem to be some firm lines in this community, like being obligated to be a materialist.

I don't want to have to remember people and feel sorry that they're part of a malignant memeplex, and that I can't do anything to help them.

You may be stuck with that one, especially in regards to cryonics, at least in the sense that you can't do much to help them.

Don't.

There is an example. At my dojo we have a norm (courtesy of me) wherein anyone who apologizes unnecessarily gets hit (in the mild sparring sense).

Not prescribing the beliefs, taboos and practices of LW members.

This is certainly a bias, but I would still do it.

Isn't this the sort of thing you come here to overcome? Or am I just thinking of our sister site?

I'll be happy to change the title if you have a better suggestion.

I don't mind the title and don't even object to your post - I didn't downvote. I just disagree with you about the value of formal codification of the type you are advocating. My vehement rejection is to your idea, not your expression thereof.

I believe that we need to have a clear, concise statement about the beliefs, practices, and taboos that it is rational to hold, and that we already hold as a group.

We don't know what beliefs, practices and taboos it is rational to hold. They're probably not the same ones that we already hold as a group. Thus we won't discover them by just investigating the ones we currently have.

Decide whether you want to list what norms LW has, or to investigate what norms it would be "rational" to have (a loftier project to say the least).

Let's try codify our norms.

Fuck that!

The above seems to be the most natural translation of my instinctive evaluation of the suggestion. I expect such a process of codification to have a negative effect on the community. Any reference to such a code would be an obnoxious interruption for reasons similar to those Eliezer recently mentioned.

Codify concepts not norms.