I would say follow your instincts but that doesn't work either in our society since they are broken.
I'd go with “keep your eyes on the road, your hands upon the wheel”, i.e.¹ use the evidence that you see to update your model of the world,² and your model of the world to decide which possible behaviours would be most likely to achieve your goals. This applies to any goal whatsoever (not just dating), and ought to be obvious to LW readers, but people may tend to forget this in certain contexts due to ugh fields.
This is probably not what Jim Morrison meant by that, but still.
Note that the world also includes you. Noticing what this fact implies is left as an exercise for the reader.
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Most of the problems described in this post seem to be things that are not really practical to do anything about, but this caught my eye:
Really we need to stop using the word "eugenics." In the real world it really isn't smart to keep insisting on the "official" definition of a word decades after it acquired negative connotations for actually pretty good reasons.
You know the problem with not outright saying that what you are advocating is actually eugenics is that eventually someone else will do it for you.