This is awesomely paranoid. Thank you for pointing this out.
I'm a little worried a solution here will call for whoever controls the webapp to also be an expert at creating placebos for every product type. (If we trust contract manufacturers to be honest, then the issue of adding poisons to a placebo can be handled by having them ship directly to the third party for mailing... but I that's already the default case).
Perhaps poisons can be discovered by looking at other products which performed the same protocol? "This experiment has to be re-done because the control group mysteriously got sick" doesn't seem like a good solution though...
I'll wrestle with this. Maybe something with MaxL's answer to #8 might be possible?
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'Let an ultraintelligent person be defined as a person who can far surpass all the intellectual activities of any other person however clever. Since the improvement of people is one of these intellectual activities, an ultraintelligent person could produce even better people; there would then unquestionably be an 'intelligence explosion,' and the intelligence of ordinary people would be left far behind. Thus the first ultraintelligent person is the last invention that people need ever make, provided that the person is docile enough to tell us how to keep them under control.'
Does this work?
For me, it "works" similarly to the original, but emphasizes (1) the underspecification of "far surpass", and (2) that the creation of a greater intelligence may require resources (intellectual or otherwise) beyond those of the proposed ultraintelligent person, the way an ultraintelligent wasp may qualify as far superior in all intellectual endeavors to a typical wasp yet still remain unable to invent and build a simple computing machine, nevermind constructing a greater intelligence.