This starts at noon local time. I'm not quite sure what time Less Wrong thinks, because I'm submitting before DST takes effect and the meetup is after, and it's showing inconsistent things, but regardless, noon is the correct time.

Pittsburgh HPMoR Wrap Party - https://www.facebook.com/events/824097430998639/

Also also, this is the day of the Pittsburgh Marathon; check the road closure schedule, expect delays, etc.

Also, if you're on Google+, RSVP on the event page and it will add a calendar entry for you and I'll know to invite you to future events. (If this doesn't work, let me know; it's the first time I've tried to use a public event.)

I've experienced a one way relationship before (see http://lesswrong.com/r/discussion/lw/gtv/need_some_psychology_advice/8j5k) and I really don't think that's what's going on here. I think she has a perfectly reasonable and appropriate level of interest and involvement concordant with someone she's been dating for two weeks, and I have an unreasonable and inappropriate level due, once again, to my brain chemistry and/or personal history. Calling things off right now would be a terrible idea because 1) I really have no reason to think it won't work and 2) I'm going to have to deal with this getting-too-involved-too-soon thing in ANY relationship, so I really need to learn to manage it.

Yeah, a lot of this is about arranging dates. I was actually thinking about proposing regularly scheduled dates, because it seems like it would stress her out a bit to be responsible for them, just like it does me; ironically the main reason I haven't mentioned this to her yet is that it itself is sort of a big scary request.

This seems like open thread material to me tbh imo.

Hmm, I expect it got negative points because Kenoubi is already dating someone and he's happy dating them. Dating other girls right now might be counterproductive. Other techniques for worrying less would be more useful ATM. However, if this relationship doesn't work out dating a lot might be good advice!

Just a note: Different people have different dates. Probably the worst (but usually the first that comes into mind) kind is the "awkward silence in a romantic restaurant" kind of date. This works best in Hollywood movies, and perhaps for experienced seducers who don't feel any anxiety and can easily manage social situations. (For them, this is good signalling, but that's precisely because it is costly. And I don't speak about the costs of the dinner here.)

As an alternative, I would recommend a "doing something fun together" kind of a date. Something that (you can pretend) you would do alone and have fun doing it, too, but today you altruistically decided to offer her an opportunity to join you and have fun too. (Feel the difference? You are not begging, you are offering.) Do a short internet research: is there any gallery exhibition, or music concert, or public lecture, or whatever interesting in your town the next week? (Or simply ask other people what interesting activity would they recommend you the next week. You don't have to explain why you need it. Maybe there is an information service you can call for exactly this info.) Choose something that interests you, so you will be relaxed, and later you can talk about it. She may also feel less pressure on this kind of a date.

(Beware of other-optimization, et cetera. If romantic dinners work for you, just continue doing what works. Although trying something new in addition probably would not hurt.)

You probably already know this, but if your problems are big, you should try a therapist instead of self-help based on an advice from internet. (Although the advice given on this part of internet is usually better than average.)

Doing something is better than doing nothing. Unless you use it as an excuse for not doing more. (As in: "Nothing can fix my problems. What, CBT? No thanks, I tried one exercise based on an advice from internet, and it did not fix my problem. What, visiting a CBT therapist? I am telling you, I already tried an advice from internet, and it did not work.")

That's good! Because it wouldn't be. =]

Uhh. Is the anxiety bad enough that you're sometimes tempted to dump her first just to not have to deal with it anymore?