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Comment author: EphemeralNight 09 February 2016 02:29:58PM 13 points [-]

Well, first, I'll admit up front that I logged off and metaphorically hid for a day after posting this, so I would not be tempted to engage in a pointless argument in the comments. And yet, I was somehow still too optimistic about what I'd find when I looked.

First point of order, this isn't about me. I've been on this site a while, it should be obvious by now that I have no qualms sharing gooey personal details about myself. So. Stop making it about me. If it was about me, you'd know.

Second point of order, the pronouns assigned to the characters do not matter and I think it says more about you than me that you fixated on that. So. Stop making it about sexism. Perhaps I could have chosen some other combination of genders, but I had hoped that commenters here of all places would be egalitarian enough to see those genders as the placeholders they are.

Third point of order, the parable was never meant to reflect reality. If it seems one-sided, that's because it is. It is meant to reflect a generalized emotional journey that I think is valid for a lot of people, of all sexes and orientations, who are too scared to speak up because they, rightly, expect to get nothing but vitriol for doing so.

Fourthly, if the parable even has a moral, it is about prostitution and modern attitudes towards prostitution and not really anything else. If you think the parable is advocating anything else you don't like, that, again, says more about you than me. I am astounded that I have to explicitly point this out, but there is a difference between not actively helping a person and actively interfering with help reaching a person. So. Stop putting words in my mouth. We should be above that, here.

Comment author: NancyLebovitz 11 February 2016 05:35:22PM 5 points [-]

Thank you for your reply. This is not at all what I expected.

I think there's a rule for allegories that the symbols shouldn't be too much like the thing symbolized (in this case an allegory about sex shouldn't use real world genders). I also recommend updating about people's ability to interpret (especially about a fraught subject like sex) rather than complaining that they didn't understand things the way you hoped.

This being said, I agree with you about prostitution, though more from a libertarian /sympathy for the prostitutes who should be allowed to do their work in peace than sympathy for people who have trouble finding sexual partners.

I'm not sure what the emotional journey is supposed to be. Maybe going from thinking of something as a personal problem to realizing that there's a systemic problem?

Comment author: OrphanWilde 08 February 2016 07:41:33PM 8 points [-]

Interesting. The cynics are jumping ship.

But no. If Richard leaves because a heavily-downvoted article and the comments trying to direct its author to think a little bit deeper offends his sensibilities, that of course is his choice, but it says little about the forum as a whole. Like Ilya, I don't overly mind him, but he's also not a critical piece of the infrastructure; they both did little constructive work, and the forum is oversaturated with people willing to tell low-status members what they're doing wrong anyways, with nobody saying what they're doing right.

Comment author: NancyLebovitz 08 February 2016 08:04:14PM 2 points [-]

I've got some sympathy for not wanting to be in a social environment when you're disgusted by the low end. I still like SSC on the whole, but it's drifting far enough right that it's not as much fun for me as it used to be.

Comment author: NancyLebovitz 08 February 2016 07:17:22PM *  -6 points [-]

What's missing from the fable is the idea that sex also has costs and risks for women, not to mention that women have preferences which are as important to them as sexual preferences are for men. The last bit isn't all that's wrong with the post.

This is the moderator speaking-- I want an answer for how you could think it was reasonable to leave out female preferences.

At the same time, there are real problems with the way that men who are bad at attracting women are treated. Not all of those problems come from feminism.

Comment author: NancyLebovitz 08 February 2016 04:53:22PM 1 point [-]

If the survey includes birth order, also ask about order among grandchildren. I'm not just first born, I'm first grandchild on both sides, and I wonder how common that is.

Comment author: NancyLebovitz 05 February 2016 06:14:37PM 2 points [-]

Why did she decide to use purely cognitive methods rather than including medication?

I'm not saying that including medication would have been a better choice, but it would have been a plausible one.

Comment author: NancyLebovitz 02 February 2016 08:44:30PM 1 point [-]

I'm wondering how one offers a way out-- suppose that one partner is much more enthusiastic about EA than the other. The couple tries the combination of reasonably priced fun and EA one year, and the less enthusiastic one doesn't feel it's satisfying. Can that partner say "let's not do it that way next year?" without feeling shamed for it?

Comment author: IlyaShpitser 01 February 2016 04:31:58PM *  0 points [-]

This isn't doxxing, I am not revealing otherwise difficult to get info, like address and phone and social security number, with the aim to harass. In fact, I am not revealing anything, I am just stating a guess. I have no inside info on either Clarity or Gleb.

Comment author: NancyLebovitz 01 February 2016 06:17:55PM 2 points [-]

I don't see a problem with speculating about whether two anonymous posters are the same person, but pushing the idea that a poster who wishes to remain anonymous is the same person as a poster who's publicly identified is close to doxing.

Comment author: NancyLebovitz 01 February 2016 09:56:22AM 10 points [-]

Discussion of how to use college to get what you want from it, with rather a lot about the details you need to think about and check. For example, if you're looking for a degree for a profession, it's important to find out whether a particular degree meets the requirement-- and if you're hoping to make money from a profession, you need to check on whether the money's actually there.

Comment author: Viliam 05 January 2016 09:09:40AM *  2 points [-]

I recommend reading the linked article; it's interesting.

Comment author: NancyLebovitz 24 January 2016 09:16:06PM 2 points [-]

I recommend the whole thing, too.

The existence of people like Jessica is not just something the mainstream media needs to learn to acknowledge, but something feminists need to learn to acknowledge as well. There are successful women who don't like to fight. Which means if the public conversation about women consists of fighting, their voices will be silenced.

And I bet we're not hearing from men who don't like fighting.

Comment author: Kaj_Sotala 20 January 2016 08:27:30AM 0 points [-]

Might also be a cultural thing - the Wikipedia articles gives me the impression it was more known in the US than in Europe. There's only one non-English version of the article.

Comment author: NancyLebovitz 20 January 2016 02:57:29PM 0 points [-]

It might be cultural, but the other person who hadn't heard of it is American, and only about 15 years younger than I am.

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